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-Only child- Married- Mom- Navy vet- Perpetual college student- Bipolar- Music lover- Storyteller- Word user- Human-

Nov 2, 2011

Emotions on the Run


The post before this one.


A perfect example of one of my bipolar mood cycles.

It's very slightly embarrassing, yet for the most part I'm okay with it. I do appreciate very much the comments I received, and for the most part, when my mood is level, I'm fine with not caring if people like me or not. Yet when my mood cycles, any small insecurities I have in the back of my mind get pushed to the forefront and intensified beyond what is reasonable.

It took me a few days to recognize that I was cycling again because fortunately the medication I'm on keeps me level most of the time. But there's been some pretty stressful things this past summer that I buried down to handle them, and when one more stressful event took place, it set my mood cycling off.

So that's that.

Sep 17, 2011

Feel Free to Share Your Thoughts

I welcome any comments to any of my posts, even if it's to tell me I'm wrong or am, in fact, being irrational. (Though if you're going to tell me to get over myself, don't bother. Why waste your time and mine?)

Sep 16, 2011

Delusional? Perhaps...but maybe not.

I don't know if I'm just finally having an emotional response to some really crappy news I got today (not life threatening, so not worth going into), or if it's reality smacking me upside the head again, but I'm pissed. And hurt. And confused. Mainly, I guess, at myself.

Sep 11, 2011

What This Day Means to Me on the 10th Anniversary

Ten years ago today, I was stationed in Naples, Italy. I was a new sailor in the United States Navy, on the last day of 72 hours of duty, in the last three and a half hours, and looking forward to a nice 72 hours off.

Jun 11, 2011

A boring pathetic fuddy duddy at 28

How pathetic is it that at 28 years of age I'm a boring old housewife with no topic of conversation other than my kid? Or sometimes not even that, so I bore everyone around me?

Yes, this is a mopey, feeling sorry for myself post.

Jun 7, 2011

I Can Haz No Kid?

Yesterday was a day where I really didn't want to be mommy anymore. The Kid had been assigned to clean his room, and what would've been between ten and twenty minutes of work turned into an all day event. As in, 9 long hours of repeating, "Clean your room!" and "Pick up your toys!"


Jun 1, 2011

Antibiotics good; Stomach cramps bad

I've been gone for a few days both because I've been busy this past weekend (I love those busy, fun weekends!) and I'm dealing with stupid stomach cramps that happen whenever I eat. It's been happening since the halfway point of taking horse pill sized antibiotics for a nasty ear infection. And it's annoying. I'm hoping a regime of yogurt filled with live cultures and some probiotic chewable wafers will help since that's the only thing I can think of causing so much ickiness in my gut. And I'm still tired and sleep deprived thanks to these pretty painful cramps that are strong enough to wake me from my Seroquel coma.


May 29, 2011

Too much? Too little? Nah, it's just right.

How boring am I? I'm sitting here while the kid is outside somewhere (I'm hoping he's still around...), the husband is at a friend's house, and I'm trying to find activities for the kid to do this summer. Not playing Grand Theft Auto 4, or the Sims 3, or even Facebook games. I'm stressing out, thinking I need to get the kid more involved in stuff, to get him out of the house.

May 25, 2011

Strange Day

Yup, today has been a strange day. Which means that I'm feeling a bit out of it mentality. To anyone stumbling upon this blog, I have bipolar II disorder, a milder form of bipolar disorder. I have hypomanic episodes instead of manic ones, and I've been in treatment for it for 3 1/2 years now. This means that though I'm pretty good mood-wise most of the time, I still have off days, and today is one of them. It's my own fault really. I've gone to bed at 1am the last two nights, and lack of enough sleep always knocks me for a loop. It's an extremely bad habit of mine that I haven't stopped yet, that I've been lectured to about by my therapist the whole time I've seen her. I can't fully explain why I still do it.

May 24, 2011

"Top 100 Newborn Essentials" Which Aren't All That Essential After All

So I frequent a website called, which is a parenting website. I like it because it typically has a bit more than the same boring things places like have, and without the drama of the boards that has. So I came upon their list of "Top 100 Newborn Essentials" and perused it since it's been my experience that a lot of these lists end up having things that really aren't needed, but make the website's sponsors happy. This one was no different, and I felt a strong need to post a long ass comment about those things that aren't actually essential, especially for newborns. I post it here to share. What do you think?

May 23, 2011


For the last two years I've tried to start a blog. And three times I've started over.

May 11, 2011

Numero Uno

I’m sitting in a McDonald’s, fighting the urge to start coughing because I’m afraid I’ll become a pariah among all of the other parents here in the play area. I’m trying to enjoy a reprieve from the sick house (my house) that I’ve been a prisoner of for the last week, victim of one of those late winter viruses that holds on to its host like there’s no tomorrow, trying in vain to survive the coming warm weather. It’s been a few years since I’ve had one of these monsters invade me, and I was enjoying that break, thank you very much. The Kid, my 4 year old son, is still coughing here and there, but a coughing kid doesn’t seem to draw the scrutiny a coughing parent does. If I cough I know the thoughts flying through others’ minds will include the ever present, “She should *know better*!”

And yes, I do, but at the same time when it’s between starting to scream and pulling my hair out because I can’t take the white walls one. second. longer., and spreading the plague, I’ll spread the plague in a heartbeat. Yet I’m still trying to avoid spreading it because it is a particularly evil virus this time around, so I’m sitting here having fantasies of running to the bathroom to have a coughing fit.

My wants are simple, what can I say?

And this, dear reader, is my introduction.